Today was Smacky's first day of preschool - and by that I mean real preschool vs. a summer program or camp or whatnot. It was also orientation day in which parents were asked to attend with the child to help them assimilate and become comfortable with the environment. And as I suspected, I met up with a bunch of mothers doing their damnedest to appear absolutely perfect to everyone there. Courtesies were exchanged, basic stats revealed while quiet behavioral explanations were whispered: she's usually so much more outgoing! or we had a bad morning. And because these types of exchanges bore me to tears and tell me absolutely nothing about the women I will be bumping into for the next year, I once again offered myself up as the IMPERFECT ONE and dared to say out loud to one of the mothers that the twins participate in early intervention.
Oh my gosh! My G was in for speech therapy -
I'm sorry, I just overheard you...where do you go? My L is in for motor delay -
I'm so worried about T's walking delay - how did you get involved?
And with that, the mothers gathered more closely. They knew they'd be safe with me - clearly, I'm not competing and therefore, they could be themselves. And the ice was broken. Now, we can be real. Now we can talk about poop and tantrums and shyness and clumsiness and find comfort in shared experiences. Now we can stop worrying that we're not perfect and not feel like we have to apologize for whatever it is our children may or may not do next.
It works like a charm: all I have to say is "infertility" or "developmental delay" in a room full of estrogen and I am instantly Most Popular. I so love it. And I so hate that we do this to ourselves...that we feel the need to appear so...I don't know...faultless in front of other women. We're all just trying to make it in this big, bad world. And we're all dealing with something. Better to get it out on the table, lest we spend our precious time pretending and missing out on the good stuff. Like poop.
While I was busy making new mommy friends, Smacky was busy establishing himself as alpha dog, endearing himself to the teachers and engaging the boys in the class. How this child who is so transition-sensitive can walk into a classroom and work it so well is beyond me...and I know from his summer teacher that this was his way in his prior school - that he loves to lead and loves learning and likes to share his enthusiasm. I share this information with you with no intention to brag in any way but more to illustrate my relief - that despite his past issues with anxiety and change, Smacky has this - he has school - which he loves and obviously feels unencumbered and free to be what he wants to be. And seeing him so happy makes me, well, elated.
This week is enormously jam-packed with to dos, including nanny interviews and the Red Sox and orientation and toddler music class and oh, 3 doctor appointments and a studio portrait session for the kiddles. With T slated to leave soon, I feel compelled to get in as much as I can before she goes (for some reason I have this fear I won't find help prior), thusly, the manic schedule. Add to that the fact that today I found out that because my Cdiff STILL hasn't gone away (we're looking at a course lasting over 3 years now, folks) that I'll be treated to a colonoscopy and visit with Dr. Cutting Edge's favorite GI guy to see what else might be going on.
Again, my life always comes back to the poop.
