Hi. You there? I hope?
This week was a whirlwind - we're smack in the middle of Birthday Sweeps - tomorrow the twins will turn 1.
Smacky turned 3 on Monday. T celebated her birthday on Wednesday; my mom on Thursday. My niece and Uncle J is next week. A, a sweet happy tweenager neighbor who watches Smacky on Friday afternoons, turns 13 tomorrow as well. After that, we have a bit of a reprieve.
I'm still messed up about Grandma. But that is expected, isn't it. I'm all existential and gloomy and it's hard to stay focused. All I keep asking myself is where is she? and all I want to do is be able to call her and make sure she's all right...I'm not doing especially well with this permanent no-more-talk-or-see-each-other part of death this time around. I've actually shared that overtly obvious and kind of DUH way I've been thinking with S and my uncle and both were downright comforting and thoughtful in their responses. Death churns up a lot of your own issues. Death also can make you question everything, even if the person who died lived a good superlong life and it was simply her time to move on. Death can make you question your faith, or, as in my case, my seeming lack thereof. It's just hard.
S is in Jamaica. Then the Caymans. He'll be back next Thursday. I'm solo with the kids this weekend and am actually looking forward to it. The boys are entering a curious, outspoken stage - their personalities are truly emerging and I find them fascinating. Even more engaging is how Smacky's relationship with them is evolving into one of a doting big brother.
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Last week KT sent me what is most assuredly in the top 5 Best Things Anyone Has Made For Me category. Okay, make that top 3. I'll post about it once I get my photo situation straightened out - currently I have 4 cameras needing downloading which are in various states of needing a charge. Also, we celebrated Smacky's big #3 on Sunday with none other than guess who? - Thomas the Tank Engine. I've never seen my boy more excited - he was I kid you not screeching in delight and it made my mommy heart explode.
I'm off to bed. Pics forthcoming.